What Do New Year's Resolutions Resolve?

The biggest social construct of all time has to be that we have to create a list of goals that we must complete within 365 days. Now don’t get me wrong, I am all for goals. I think everyone should establish goals and try their hardest to achieve them. Yet, I wonder..is it realistic to expect myself to complete this wishlist by the end of the year? At glance, 365 days looks like a long time. But anybody who has lived life long enough can speak first hand and tell you that a year comes and goes. 2019 literally knocked on our door, asked us to buy some girl scout cookies and when we went to kitchen to get our money.. LEFT. This year flew by. And as I reflect, my greatest accomplishments and highlights of the year were not a part of my resolutions. My biggest “flexes” were not intended. God and life, just kind of happened and boom.

Some of you may be half way through this post and be confused at where I am going with this. “She doesn’t want us to strive for higher heights this year?” “Is she telling us not to have a plan?” Absolutely not. Let me reel you back in. Life produces some pretty crazy and unpredictable events. There is no handle you can grab to control it. However, I do believe the old saying, “failing to plan, is planning to fail.” You have to set some type of idea in motion. You have to create a blueprint so you can have an idea of what you’re doing. But here’s my approach this year and I suggest you try it as well.

Create a mini timeline of this past year. You can go month to month, occasion to occasion, what ever you please. Make it artsy if you need to .Highlight the good moments and bad moments that had the lasting impacts. With these moments and events.. examine what was the driving force that made you make these decisions that ultimately created the moment. What was the motivating factor. Now find a word that can describe it. Jot it down. Now way the pros and cons of this motivation or action. For an example, a highlight for me was getting accepting into graduate school. What was the driving force… ambition I’d say. A pro about my ambition is that it causes me to take risks and be bold. A con about my ambition? I don’t always calculate and do the proper things to prepare for the risks. My ambition… it causes me to become sick, sleep deprived, moody, and ultimately put myself on UNREALISTIC timelines. As you examine these motivating forces, the pros and cons that caused you to succeed and even fail during these momentous moments.. revamp them for this year. For me? I will never let my ambitions cause me to get sick. I pushed myself so hard this year and nearly made myself sick every time. I realized, I am too young for that. Sleep is not just for the rich. Because don’t you have live to see the money? I will not let my ambitions to make me feel constrained to a timeline when in reality some goals and manifestations won’t present themselves for years. And that’s not even a negative standpoint. That is a REALISTIC standpoint. So going into the new year, I will be ambitious and .. but I will be PATIENT with myself. I will not compare my journey with others. I saw a post that said young people are so impatient and it is so true. We think that if we set a goal for ourselves and we don’t immediately experience positive results, then it is an automatic failure. Absolutely not. Our generation is super talented. But it’s almost as if we are in this invisible race with ourselves. I constantly pray that God will help me to make days count, instead of counting them. That he will allow me to enjoy life without feeling like I have to be restricted to a list of what I have to do and when I have to do it by. I’m constantly seeing people who are just as confused as me on the internet setting these bogus dates that you have to achieve things by. Get married at this age. Get a house at this point. Start a family young, so you won’t be an old parent. NO. I’m going to reflect, I am going to realign my motives and actions, and I am going to set small goals that are in sync with my big goals. Why? Because I deserve to experience productivity without achieving these massive goals yet. So what do resolutions resolve? Absolutely nothing. If anything they make you feel like you’re in a race and when you don’t complete them within a year.. you think you are a failure. Take my approach, or if not just set goals without the anxiety of labeling it as resolutions. Know that some goals will take longer than others. And remember, “The day you plant the seed is NOT the day you eat the fruit.” BUT, in 2020.. please plant your seeds.