Communication is the biggest barrier in relationships. These days, we don't really take time to verbally communicate. We are always on the go and rather shoot a text. And if you're like me, you DREAD talking on the phone. Like I hate talking on the phone with people I like. That is so weird but it takes a while for me to get there with someone. I'm a conversationalist but before I get comfortable, I can be very awkward and standoffish. But this post isn't about my poor communication skills lol! Let's talk about how communication goes south in text messages.
In this blog post, Jalen and I will analyze screenshots between males and females. Then we will pinpoint where and why the message went wrong. Jalen will analyze his female friends' messages and explain the downfall from a male's perspective. And I will do the same for my male friends' messages.
Raven's :
Message 1:
So lets say these messages belong to "Justin." Apparently the girl he is texting misses him. Very clear and to the point. Then Justin says he tired and aint tryna just chill. And for those of us who have common sense and know what context clues means...that mean dude not making no making no blank trip. Like we gone yeah or yeah. You know? So sis has the nerve to say WYM? Like what do you mean... what do you mean? Then she said she wanted to thrift. And judging by the messages, dude wasn't trying to nothing like that. Justin on game and realizes the girl is trying to go on a date. And he is right. Now if I was her, immediately when he said... "I'm not tryna just chill".. that would have been my cue. It would have registered to me that this man do not want to go on any date of any sort. Then I would've decided what my next move would have been, either I'm with it or not. Neither decision would have been bad, but it would have for sure dawned on me that he just wanted one thing. I think it's important not hop and skip over signs. I don't have a timeline on these two, but I'm pretty sure this has happened before and that they don't have no extremely intimate or dating relationship. I could be wrong, but I feel like the girl was forcing it. Her saying you really curving me? This lets me see that she really like him or is trying to shrug off the feeling of being played. Because, me.... I still am maturing..but I would have definitely stop texting him or blocked him momentarily. I hate feeling played I'm not going to lie. But shoutout to the women who take curves with grace, because it's all about moving forward. I get it. But anyway, you see my friend Justin is partially explains himself. And I want to applaud him because he was being very straightforward. Some women will look at this and think he was being jerk, but I applaud his honesty. We will want this type of rawness and bluntness because we hate being manipulated. But then a dude who not into us the way we want them to be say his true intentions and we butt hurt. Like nah, keep the same energy. Deal with what is being presented and if you don't like it or want more...dead it. Simple. Again, I'm not acting like I'm better because I know that's easier said than done. But I been there, done that, took the flight, got the t shirt, all that! Lastly, dude hit her with the classic "fasho" line after she tried to crack a joke. I really was howling, not at another woman's embarrassment or agony either. But like I said, been there and done that. I can show you the picture. I promise don't nothing piss me off more than a fasho or bet. You basically are saying forget what I'm saying are you done? It's like saying, "I'm good love enjoy."
Message 2:
Soooo this is funny already to me. You can take a quick glance at this and see sus was being crazy. And "Terrance" had to scribble out one of her messages, so you already see the gist of this. Now, I'm not going to act like I'm better and type that I have never blew up a dude's phone. I have once or twice, but I had very good reason. At least I felt like it was a good reason. And honestly, I'm not the best texter so I'm a super hypocrite with a topic like this, but I digress. So one, I'd rather chew glass than blow up a phone the way this girl did in the messages above. I am very dramatic, but you get my point. But dudes are very funny to me, because if I was Terrance I would have blocked her. I use my block feature faithfully. I don't like anyone blowing up my phone or bothering me. So why don't dudes do it? My theory: One they need entertainment, all of us are guilty of having that one person in our phone we really don't like fr but we bored and need some type of stimulus. Then some of yall (emphasis on yall because I think it's wrong) just like the idea of someone being madly obsessed with yall. Dudes, I think dudes really have a field day with women like this. It's jut funny. Very comical. And even though I'm only featuring two messages, I have PLENTY of more for weeks to come. My guy friends did not hesitate to send me messages of women acting "crazy." I say stop entertaining men who are obviously not that interested and stop being the comic relief him and his potnas laugh at in the GM. Dudes love laughing at women. It aint right, but hey don't be mad you in the circus if you a clown. I think that's how the saying go I've seen at least three different version of that quote lmao!!! Then the girl really had the nerve to say "I'm not pressed for you to FWM." REALLY???? Could've fooled me sis! And the whole you on twitter but blah blah. That's creepy. Don't tell nobody you see them on social media but they not texting you back. Congrats, you now have solidified and announced you are a stalker. Again, I am not acting like I don't keep tabs( sounds way better than saying stalking or lurking,, haha see what I did there), but I don't admit it duh. You have to stay two steps ahead.
Now when Terrance said " I was sleep"..... old me, like 2014-2016ish me would have been livid. I probably would have sent a long message warranting a response that was not needed. I probably would have just stop texting him after I see I have had many failed attempts. I have learned so well the art of reciprocating energy. This is not pride talking either. It's just that, okay yeah I might like you. Yeah I might want you to text me faster. But once I realize I might want this a little more than you do.... FLAGGGGGG. Yea coach put me on the bench. I don't want to slip and fall cause my nose wide open and I'm not paying attention. So please, ladies stop explaining yourself to a dude who don't want a response. Dudes just block and stop playing with crazy women. I heard they crazier these days than usual.. And in general, try actually spending time with people. I know we are in our twenties and it is for fun... but we are grown. Aint no forreal grown adult going to go back and forth we you in no messages. This applies to women and men.
Jalen:
Message 1:
The message signifies that the man probably has spent a long time ignoring the message or just replying in general to the message. Going off the text messages I can assume that the woman was trying to share with him a surprise and the man texted back did so a day later and that upset the woman. Communication is an issue here, learning from previous situations, the man probably would have done better just letting the woman know why he was so late with a response but at the same time depending on the extent of the relationship you could also ask why is she really questioning how long it took for the message to be relayed? In that same breath, I'm sure a lack of communication in the situation is what led to the anger of both parties and them resulting in them just leaving the conversation alone. But, after waiting a day response you shouldn't expect anybody to still be interested or as excited in the conversation as they were when they originally sent you the message. This is why communication is vital, because depending on the communication here, this most likely could have been avoided, actually it could have been avoided if the man had just said he would text you back later and the woman wouldn't have to worry.
Message 2:
This message is a little bit vague, but using context clues I'll assume that an issue was brought to the forefront and the woman felt like whatever was being discussed just wasn't deep enough to engage in an argument about, because of that she became mad and said that the most is always done. The communication looks thin here, no real explanation of anything, very short and vague answers which leads too much room for each party to not fully understand where each person is coming from. What we can learn from these messages alone though, is that men and women have different ways of communicating. Dude was fed up in the messages though and I was thoroughly entertain, "find a new nigga", I'm sure they were back talking the next day and they figured it out, this argument doesn't look that bad more of a petty one that you can "lol, wyd?" your way out of.
In my honest opinion, I believe men are more the take it for what it is type of communicators while women are deeper communicators. Women prefer communication be very specific and no gray area, how do I figure this? This is how.
A great example of how communication varies amongst men and women would have to be the recent screenshots and messages between the opposite sex when women ask are they invited and the man says "If you want to."
For example, the woman may ask the man if he would like her to come over, not thinking I think the natural instinct of the man or the normal answer is to just say "If you want." I'm super guilty of doing this myself. What's the normal response of a woman when this occurs? Most women automatically assume the man doesn't want to spend time with her because of that answer. To most men, the answer "if you want" is more so a yes than anything else, but to women it's not too much of a for sure answer to satisfy to woman, why is that? Why do women feel that "if you want" isn't a viable option to satisfy? After reading through the threads of twitter and just the opinions of women to them it just doesn't seem like a warm welcome, it's an unsure answer and after thinking about it that way, I understand. The moral of all of this is that communication between women and men are vastly different and it's ironic that the best way to get better at communicating amongst each other is by well, communicating.
Thanks for reading this post!!!!!
-XOXOXXOXOXO SeauxRaven